True Story.

True story. I heard it from a friend of a friends, friends, friend, which actually turned out to be me. Six Degree's of separation? Through your friend I know myself. Think about that one.

Back to the story at hand. Back in the earlier days. I used to work at a gas station. Yeah we have all done the interesting menial job. This wasn't just any gas station however. It was a gas station open 24hrs a day. Back then I suppose the job market in Alberta was more in favor of the employer rather than the employee and work ethic in general was much better. Anyway, one night in the still of approximately 2am I left my post for a minute to sit outside and enjoy what I had thought was the perfect night. Evidently, later on, I had come to realize that that particular moment on that particular night was not so perfect. It was quiet, and you could hear little bustling off in the distance somewhere else in the city. As I sat perched on the curb in front of the entrance to the gas station's mini market store, I thought about life and my place in it.

At this point I had dropped out of my first attempt to college and really didn't have much intention on going back. This dead end possibly lifer type mentality was all that I was for that summer. Funny story though, instead of attending my college classes I sat in a Starbucks on the other side of the city from where I lived, writing game scripts, stories, creating characters and anything other than engineering. My creative side was much too predominant for me to have taken college very seriously. Though sometimes looking back on it I did quite well in my classes. My grades were good, the work was easy enough, but sadly I guess I felt that I couldn't be bothered. It was on this day, as I remember thinking about my past present and future, that something terrible was about to happen.

Let me ask you a question, and be honest. This day, evening or morning, what ever you would like to call it, was quite the epiphany for me. Not only had I struck gold on my next steps towards my future role in life, but it was so profound that it had jarred some sense into me and ultimately changed to the course of my career path. Up to this point I was sure what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and it never occurred to me that perhaps it wasn't. Have you ever seen a moth the size of a sparrow stare deep into your eyes blazing a path do your soul?

Now I don't claim to have weird life changing incidences with insects but it is a valid question. There comes a time in everyone's life when something hits you so hard you don't quite realize it until many years later. But if you must know, the answer is yes. That night at approximately 2am in the morning on a calm quiet still time working at the easiest job in the world, I had one such brush with death. Though most people would be scared if death stared them in the face I looked back peacefully and had more than a dozen of my questions answered. But why death you ask? It's just a moth. I will tell divulge this to you. Be ready this is not for the faint of heart.

Death, as I describe it, is obviously metaphoric, as I wouldn't be writing to you now had I died. Or could I? Just kidding. No I mean death, as I call it an illusion of passing was a moth. Not just any moth. This moth span wing tip to wing tip more than 8 inches, Slightly larger than a sparrow I kid you not. Painted on its wings were blue circular shapes like eyes staring at you with a piercing gaze. The minute I saw it, I was baffled how anything in nature could exist. This moth was a gift. It was a gift from a soul that told me to keep going. To this day I still think that she was right there hanging on the brick wall of that gas station, staring at me with her eyes with that crazy you can't be angry at me look that she always had.

In the summer months before I left the small town life for college, Mandy was a girl that had always stuck me as the woman that got away. We dated, had a great time and really let me enjoy the smallest things. Far from the usual female kind that had ever given me the time of day in that regard, she was always somewhat different. She also helped me get over my first emotional crushing life devastating event. Again a story saved for another day perhaps. As I started college we began to separate our ways, which is an entirely different story saved for another day perhaps. We stopped seeing eye to eye, and at the time she ended up becoming more of a burden to my career path than an influence. With any regard we parted ways on one of the worst notes ever played by a tuned trumpet, and we lost touch. My best friend at the time had called me from small town home on numerous occasions to chat about the latest and greatest, meanwhile trying to patch us up. It had been 3 long months of this and eventually I gave up. 6 months later, coming home from a pretty good run around the pathways at Henderson Lake, I had looked at my phone only to see Mandy, herself had called me personally. I wasn't what about, but being pretty scarred from our last encounters I sluffed the notion for a few hours. Later that evening, I tried calling her just to say hi and perhaps mend broken wounds but received no answer. I had figured she was going to dance lessons, or one of her parties or something. She always had to be doing something. We stole her mother's car for a drive around the town one day. Tell me that wasn't a bad move.

Two weeks had passed and as I sat on the curb of that gas station watching this moth, my heart racing as it pierced my soul. She was there. Looking away I looked back to see if it was a dream but still she lay calmly on the brick face just staring at me. We connected again for the first time in months through a miracle of nature. I stood up and dusted myself off and went back to work that morning as usual.

I got home at about 7am after work, I had only lived a short ways from my comfortable basement suite, and crawled into bed. The next day was my day off and I was bound and determined to relax and do practically nothing. The phone rang. It was about 730pm. It was Chris. I was enthused though a bit groggy to hear from him. He was going to tell me the latest news about small town life, who was dating who, who went to jail because of whatever, and who was still working that same job they were when I left. No. The first words that came from his mouth, my best friend, were, "Bruno I have some bad news." The world seemed to stop. I didn't know what to think. What could be this devastating that Chris hadn't even begun our conversation with Hi how's it going buddy. We had been through a lot together and for some reason I had felt that this was in no way normal. Those four little words took the lump that hovered over my head and sunk it deep, deep into my chest. "Bruno, Mandy is dead."

It was at 2am the following day when a horrible accident changed the lives of a group of kids in an instant. Mandy had been partying that night a few of her friends. Her best friend’s brother was behind the wheel of a vehicle that should have never left its parking spot. My ex-girlfriend and a profound influence that changed my life was in the car that was about to take her life. As I look back on it, that moment as I sat on the cub, in those moments time had literally slowed down frame by frame in two places of the world at once. They had been speeding through dirt roads and streets tossing bottles at road signs, swerving back and fourth going dangerously fast. One false move could have meant disaster, and it did. The driver had lost control of the vehicle. Mandy was the only person in that car not wearing her seatbelt. As it skipped, tossed and rolled about the countryside Mandy felt the brunt of the accident and took all of the burden. As the car finally came to a halt, she was the only one not in it. So horrible that this girl with so many aspiring talents was left in a such a horrible disfigurement. The paramedics say that she died instantly and did not suffer. How do they know? Such a violent and bloody death? In video games today we are desensitized to body disfigurement, so much that when you decapitate a zombie, its honestly funny. No She died in one of the worst ways possible. But still I sat on that curb calm as ever as she pointed me in the right direction, and told me that everything would be alright.

I believed her. Since that day I was put on a path that I hope will be successful. Life is a learning process. Somewhere along the way we figure things out. No matter how brutal or subtle the signs are. I won't forget her words.

Just the other day I was thinking about that day. Though I had told many of my friends about it, and it's impact on my life and affected my decisions while under the influence, I had never really found an application.

My company focuses on serious game interactive software development. Now in games we have the ability to escape reality. What if all this were a game? What if what happened in my past was not real. Could you play a video game based on real life? Could you connect with Mandy in the same way as you had just read my story? How do you think a serious game based on events like these would play? But who would really want to. Who wants to play the guy behind the wheel. Who wants to play her best friend. Who wants to play her.

I will leave you with this note. Mandy's passing was a sad day for many. It was a life changing event for me. Have you ever connected with a video game character as you may have anyone else passing in your life? Can a video game allow you the feeling of love? Hope? Sadness? Are they just so virtual they can never emulate realism?